FEELING DOWN ONCE MORE

i know who i am
you dont have to tell me more
i know what i am doing
am sure
you dont even know much about me
please, stop these craps immediately
you gives me hell!

am directly saying this to you
you know how much it hurts me
it hurts me more than anyone could ever imagined
it looked plain
normal
simple
nothing is complicated
BUT
it seems that u tore my heart apart
u did!
much indeed
dont you see what you are doing huh?
and thanks for that straight face
i felt very annoyed!

we are friends right?
cant you just make it as friends?
FRIENDS!
totally friends
but
see what you have done!
you spoilt it
everything!
i didnt ask for that
again you did!
cant you see that?
treated me the way you shouldnt
you gave me hope
you gave me hope!
but now
it's gone
blown away far across the oceans

i wanted to tell you this
i might have a weird feelings on you
am sure you didnt notice that
how am i supposed to tell you
i dont even have my guts
im weak, too shy for everything
BUT
i should bare in mind
that forever
and ever
i wont get along
no longer in your arms
just in my dreams
wanted to have you in my heart
but this is absolutely absurd!

how could you
played two hearts at once
good actor i suppose
but not for me anymore mister
for how many times
i have been fooled by you
if you still love her
why cant you leave me alone
for God's sake!
the calls
the messages that you sent
what's that?
tell me?
am i a puppet to you?
when you are bored with her
am the one as a replacement?
how foolish i am!
you are using me
your true colours have shown me enough
more that i could expect

i thought
we as musicians
as trumpeters
know each other's feelings better
but i was wrong
you were 
you played me
with very bizarre genre of musics
you crushed me
you damaged me
you totally changed the whole scores!
im lost
im confused
couldnt find the end bar
lost inside the coda
am stupid afterall
please get rid of my life
calls no more
messages no more
please stop!
make it like four months back
i need strength 
please...go away
go together with her
i dont need both of you
enough is enough!

afterall
am still standing
and sitting the way it should be
i need you my best friends
am so thankful
feel very blessed
for having such and wonderful
understanding friends
in penang
in ukm
thanks for being there for me
for being my good listeners
i love you guys
friends will never be apart
yes i am
am getting better
after typing all this
im so relieved!

to you
you were longer in my heart
you were just my pasts
and forever
and you
always be my friends
thanks for everything we shared




to W: enuff said, im very frustrated with you..







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